Wow, summer is almost over...isn't that weird? It seems it just started. So much is happening in our lives right now between grieving over lost friends and illnesses, finding a new home and selling our home now. I do feel a little overwhelmed but I'm hanging in there and just taking it one day at a time. This is a happy time in my life but yet inside I am really hurting. I have a friend who has passed away, another one that I never got to say goodbye to. Then one who has cancer and not a good kind. Everyday, I have to stop and cry at least once. Thoughts of Tina and my uncle Jeff come to surface also, pain is just breaking my heart.
My friend Dee, who has found out she has cancer is my best friend's mom. Dee was the other "mom" in my life all through school. I can't remember when I first met her because Gigi and I have been friends for so long it just seems like forever. I'm really trying so hard to be strong for Gigi but I'm breaking down inside. I knew "someday" we would experience issues with our parents and even death but not yet...not this soon.
On the flip side of things, we found a house, we are putting ours up for sale on Saturday and kids are having a blast in Pennsylvania but my heart is just aching and aching. Nothing seems as important to me, well, at least not as important. My family is important, that's not what I'm saying. But house buying and selling seems so superficial when I have a friend who died and one who is dying. My grieving hasn't exactly stopped from Tina. I can still think about her and start sobbing.
I guess I wrote this entry as a journal writing and feeling the need to write what I am feeling. My heart is going to ache fo a long time.....a very long time.
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