The year is almost over

Well, it has been a really long time since I wrote and I thought maybe today was the day. I had a great Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania, it was so nice to see family and friends. It also was a very sad one for me for I saw my dear friend whom is dying. She hugged me so tightly and cried and I felt so helpless. I wanted to just hold her forever. I hated closing the door and leaving, I hate that, that particular day was probably the last I will see her and what I hate most is that realization.

I will cherish that day forever....

The year is almost over and I really can't wait for 2009. I'm hoping it will bring not so much sickness, tears and death. I know it is a part of life but 2008 was bittersweet. My friend Jeanie dying is still something that plagues me, the not knowing what happened is so mind-boggling. On the good side, we bought our new home. Such a joyous occasion, to buy the house we plan to be in for a long, long time. A new home, also, with Corian counters, walk in closets and after we finish the basement, 3200 sq ft of living space. I will have that front porch I have wanted FOREVER with rocking chairs and tables. Big back yard with woods where I can chase the kids. I can't wait for that day......yet, I still think to myself, I can surely wait for the day my friend passes away......

a bittersweet 2008....


Well, today is December 1st and I'm counting down until Christmas. I just love this holiday season and the excitement my children feel. It will be our last one in our current house. We have packed up so much stuff and jeesh, you don't know how much "stuff " you have until you really start packing. Luckily, we packed up half the house in July. I think we will get our tree today or tomorrow and I really love at night watching T.V. and having just the tree lights on. It makes me so snuggly and want to drink hot chocolate. One of those small things, beautiful thing, I never take for granted.

I wish all of you a wonderful holiday season and may you have many, many blessings.

The Unexpected Joys

Here is my list for the last 3 months, these are just a few, I'm sure there is many more:

Vanessa peeing and pooping on the potty
Vanessa knowing and saying letters and numbers when I show her flash cards
Hayden and Vanessa singing beautifully
Hayden and Vanessa reading 20 books a day
Vanessa doing things at the playground her brother wouldn't have done at her age
Hayden and Vanessa unloading the entire dishwasher (except knives) everyday.
Hayden cleaning his room every week.
Vanessa doing her share helping.
Hayden helping make meals for families, whom we take to, who just had a new baby
Hayden helping Dad make salsa, doing almost all of the chopping
Hayden painting two pieces of fence at the library
Hayden painting a dinosaur egg and his work hanging up downtown
Hayden making a completely edible bird feeder
Vanessa naming all of her body parts
Vanessa playing house and being a "mommy" to her babies
Vanessa getting her first Barbie and not ripping her head off...not that she does that but I didn't know what she would do..hahaha
Hayden donating money to the Children's Museum
Hayden giving a gift to Miss Larson for her classroom
Hayden giving a complete stranger one of his dad's business cards...there is a great story behind this one!
Hayden and Vanessa eating breakfast watching Little Einsteins...she leans her head on his shoulder and he leans his head on her head. It was one of the most precious moments I ever saw! They stayed that way the entire show...

Summer memories in the Madl household.
Good Day!

Heartache

Wow, summer is almost over...isn't that weird? It seems it just started. So much is happening in our lives right now between grieving over lost friends and illnesses, finding a new home and selling our home now. I do feel a little overwhelmed but I'm hanging in there and just taking it one day at a time. This is a happy time in my life but yet inside I am really hurting. I have a friend who has passed away, another one that I never got to say goodbye to. Then one who has cancer and not a good kind. Everyday, I have to stop and cry at least once. Thoughts of Tina and my uncle Jeff come to surface also, pain is just breaking my heart.

My friend Dee, who has found out she has cancer is my best friend's mom. Dee was the other "mom" in my life all through school. I can't remember when I first met her because Gigi and I have been friends for so long it just seems like forever. I'm really trying so hard to be strong for Gigi but I'm breaking down inside. I knew "someday" we would experience issues with our parents and even death but not yet...not this soon.

On the flip side of things, we found a house, we are putting ours up for sale on Saturday and kids are having a blast in Pennsylvania but my heart is just aching and aching. Nothing seems as important to me, well, at least not as important. My family is important, that's not what I'm saying. But house buying and selling seems so superficial when I have a friend who died and one who is dying. My grieving hasn't exactly stopped from Tina. I can still think about her and start sobbing.

I guess I wrote this entry as a journal writing and feeling the need to write what I am feeling. My heart is going to ache fo a long time.....a very long time.

Having Summertime Fun!

We have been having fun for sometime now but lately, we have just been having some great funny moments. I asked Hayden what he wants to be when he grows up and he told me a policeman. I said "Really?" and he said "yes, a policeman". So, I just had to write that in his journal, his first career choice at 4 years old...hehehe...I thought it was great. Maybe our gift of giving teachings have paved the way to where he wants to help others. Whatever it is, I'm so proud of him anyways.

The funny thing right now is he will ask me something like, what are we having for dinner? So I tell him and his answer is "nice..." and he says it like a smooth teenager...hehehe...He says it now ALL the time after anything, it is hilarious. I don't even know where he picked it up but it comes across like someone who would say "sweet!"...hehehe. He is such a funny kid.

Today we went to the children's museum and made a natural bird nest feeder. It was really cool and the kids had a blast. I had to peel them out of there and then we took daddy for lunch. They love that. Ludington is very happening right now, it's busy, the streets are loaded and it just makes me want to play the Beach Boys and drive around...hehe. We went and saw Reo Speedwagon and they were fantastic. We all danced and the kids loved it. Tomorrow is the parade, which is the best parade of Ludington, in my opinion and then another concert with fireworks.

Saturday is a beach day with family, food and fun and Sunday is church and the art fair. I am so excited to sing this week, we have some lovely songs. The gal I sing with told me she would really love to hear me do some solos, so I am thinking about it...I told her to ask me in a couple of months. My confidence is definitely building, I sing now with no nerves at all but I'm also on stage with other people. The youth pastor who leads the band said I sounded beautiful tonight at rehearsal and that made me feel really good. At my art council meeting, they found out I sing and jotted that down so I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into but hopefully it is a musical or theatre...That would be awesome!!

So, summer is buzzing by and we are having a great time...I haven't exercised in months and it really doesn't matter at this point, kids are first and my top priority...I'm having too much fun and LOVING it!! Something happened when we went away to Boyne Mountain for my husband's regional. I had soooo many people coming up to me and saying how awesome I looked and how they really look forward to seeing me each year and one even came up and said I'm a star, that everyone loves me...It was the weirdest thing because it wasn't just one or two...it was like 13 different people!! Then some even made comments to my husband about how much they love me and I'm so beautiful....okay, you don't understand, I lack serious confidence and have terrible self-esteem so for this to happen to me was mind blowing...

My hubby said everyone loves you, you have that personality and you glow and you are so beautiful....breathes....All I can say is, it made my entire year...I got showered with an unbelievable amount of compliments and I'm still in shock from it...I swear I'm not bragging, I'm just sharing an exciting time for me and I'm so happy I could burst!

So, back to my kids, enough about me....I have fantastic news!!! Hayden is going to be donating money to the children's museum and his preschool teacher works there during the summer so I was telling her today about his gift of giving project we are working on. She wants me to call her a few days before he hand delivers the money and she is having the newspaper come and take pics of him!! I am sooooooooooooo excited for him!!!

Having Summertime fun!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!
Happy 4th of July!!!

Kids and Life

My little darling girl, Vanessa, is really taking off lately. She now goes potty everyday in her potty, several times a day. We are so PROUD of her and how easy she is making potty training. I think she could very easily have this down by the end of summer. She is also learning her alphabet, she named three letters to me today and that is all I had time to work with her so she may know more and I don't know yet. Hayden has learned and is now officially comfortable swimming underwater, so what did he do in the bath tonight? Teach her to put her face underwater and she LOVED it. I told him, I'm not quite ready for her to learn that...Panic was inside me the whole time she was doing it and she did it like 4 times.

Vanessa is also very smart, she catches on to things so quickly it amazes me. We were all playing legos and Hayden and I were building with small ones and Vanessa had big ones, well she came across a big lego that wasn't actually a lego...It was a piece from another company that somehow got in the lego box...imagine that...hehehe...Anyways, she looked at it and looked at me and shook her head no and gave it to me and continued building. She didn't say a word, just nodded to me that it wasn't the right kind of block and went on...How cute! I know that is something so little but it means the world to me and she was able to identify that right away.

Ever since she was a tiny little person, I would say around 5 months old, she could put her shirt on and put her arms in with no problem. I don't know how she learned but you basically stuck her shirt over her head and she did the rest. Well, she now undresses herself and can put her pants, socks and shoes all on herself. I still have to help some but she has it down pretty darn good. Of course, once in awhile you will see her with Hayden's underwear around her neck...LOL! What a kid!

I'm just so proud of her, she is just a delight to all of us and Hayden is a fantastic brother. He teaches her things all the time. He just taught her to throw a frisbee the other day and now she loves to do that. She is also doing great with throwing a ball. I'm really having so much fun with the kids lately. Hayden at swimming lessons went underwater four times and jumped off the diving board three and his confidence has gone through the roof...It's just fantastic.

So, my little girl is getting so big, my son is excelling more and more everyday. (Homeschooling is going great, he is up to reading 18 books a day with me!) We have spent quite a bit of time at the library lately, both of them just love it and with our colder weather I've taken advantage of the wonderful indoor activities in town.

As for me, I'm so busy with them I don't have much time for anything else although last night Brian and I went to our orientation for volunteering for the Arts Center. I'm so excited I could burst! They have so many cool things planned and I talked to the gal who plans all the events and classes and I gave her a few ideas and she put me on the committee. Brian said I was in my element and beaming. They want to get children's acting classes and have Shakespeare plays and artists are bringing work in for galleries. I told them all the many things I can do so they were very excited also. I told Brian I will do acting as well because I did it in college. How fun would that be!!!

They are bringing many different classes from sculpting to dance and I can teach too. I'm so giddy about it, I really am. This is just something I don't see me temporarily being involved in but for my lifetime or as long as we are in this town. Brian wants me to become a board member but I think I will start with being on a committee and doing a bunch of volunteer work, along with teaching or showing my own talents. I told them about my photography and graphic design work and I'm hoping my pieces can be showcased at some point.

I can already see my future, MOPS, kid's school involvement and the Arts Center...What a great lineup. Life just got even better!

Yea for Vanessa!!

Vanessa went pee in her potty today!! Yea!!!! WooHoo!! We had a party for her, she clapped and giggled too! This is great!!!

Setting My Mind Free

So, I am driving in the car tonight and my hubby and I got into deep conversation, we had a long drive and it was a perfect setting. We started talking about what makes us happy and I'm not going to go into all of our details but something happened and what I thought would make me happy is NOT what makes me happy. I'm talking about my weight. I truly have been thinking if I could just buckle down and get this weight off, I would be so happy. My opinion changed in moments of this conversation.

So we talked and I realized what makes me happy is my family and my art and talents, volunteering and traveling the world. I knew this but not to the level that I thought. I thought the weight thing was more important an issue for me. Recently, I have created a MySpace page and I have come across friends from high school. They are giving me unbelievable compliments..."You look incredible" one said..." You are gorgeous" another said. I went back to my photos and I looked at me and I thought, I beg to differ...I'm fatter and older! Then I looked again...I have a beautiful face. I may have weight on but I am beautiful and my family is beautiful.

I also thought of how I recently ran into a friend the same age that I hadn't seen in a year or so and she lost 30 pounds. I don't want to be mean but she aged 10 years. She weighed maybe 150 pounds before and now is 120 pounds and the wrinkles came out terrible. I don't want that. I want to be more healthy, yes, but I AM healthy now. I thought of how last year I went to Hersheypark and played the guess my age game...The girl said 26 and I was 36. I never felt so confident and proud then I did at that moment.

So, I am freeing my mind of my weight issues, I'm concentrating on what makes me feel beautiful and what I have that is beautiful, even if it is only a pretty face and skinny legs! hahahaha

My children are my mirror images of my happiness...what makes me happy is seeing my son excel so much and know that he is 4 with a kindergardner's brain and know that I am working so hard at homeschooling to help him even more. What makes me happy is teaching my daughter and watching her blossom into such a sweet spirit. She is only 19 months old and sitting on her potty already! Yea for Vanessa!!! Those little things give me so much happiness.

I've been making my own money and saving for a camera and I'm so close to achieving that goal and I can do my photography again, that makes me so happy. I gave forks and spoons that I decorate to Hayden's teachers, they didn't know I made them. They thought I bought them and as soon as they found out, they want to place orders to give as gifts! I'm ecstatic about that!!!! I do it as a hobby and it could make me money...woohoo!

I'm going to sing on Sunday, that makes me happy. I have a meeting coming up for volunteering with the Art League and I am so excited to see what all I can do. That makes me happy. It's not that I am saying, Oh, I will just stay fat...I just need to get rid of any thoughts about it at all because it puts negativity in me and makes me look at me from the outside and that is not what I want to teach my kids. I love food, I have pretty much gone back to no meat, I eat more vegetables than anything besides chocolate...hehehe. I make sure my kids eat great, they don't drink pop, they don't eat candy unless it is a special treat. I am doing what makes me happy and living a full, healthy life and having a ton of fun along with it.

I kept trying to figure out time to exercise...I don't want to figure out time to exercise...I want to stay so busy with my family and I am already so busy with extra-curricular activities and that is what I enjoy. I just don't want to worry about it anymore, I want to keep my youthful beauty from the inside out.

In ending, my conversation with my hubby opened a new door for me...I am throwing away the weight issues completely and concentrating on just making myself happy with the things that make me happy. That's all I need, truly. Friends, family, love, respect and my spirit to be free.

Hayden my hero!

I am watching my son blossom into a sweet, loving boy. Hayden has some great progressions, his speech is becoming clearer everyday. Those words with R's aren't giving him such a hard time anymore! His love for his sister is remarkable. We were in Pennsylvania and my cousin was playing with Vanessa, well she took her and set her inside her car, and they were just playing, there was a lot of people outside. Hayden came flying into my dad's house and ran to my dad and said "Papa, she is taking my sister!!!" He was crying and frantic. The most precious thing about it was he was REALLY, DEEPLY concerned and his love shown through so sweetly.

We explained that Maria ( Maria is 18) was just playing with her and she is okay and not going anywhere. He was relieved and you could see the weight come off his shoulders. I was amazed at his love for his sister and how quickly he responded to something he thought was wrong. This truly is a gift from GOD, a love so grand between siblings. So, we came back from Pa and Hayden had his last swimming lesson and got his certificate. He missed moving to level 2 by one thing, his instructor said he is so close, he just has to be able to go underwater. Which, he has done so several times but he won't every time and he has to, in order to move on.

We are still so proud of him and he has accomplished many things with swimming, he has a checklist that explains all that he has met and some of them are front float, back float, how to recognize a swimmer in distress, roll over from front to back and back to front, alternating arm action and leg action and exhaling underwater through mouth and nose (blow bubbles). He can do the doggy paddle so good, (that's what I call it). They put a noodle around him and off he goes swimming the whole length of the pool. He also can jump off the diving board which is fantastic but he won't do it every time and that is okay for now.

He is going to start a two week, everyday swim lesson starting in June and his instructor said we will really see a progression then and he may be able to move to level 2 in Fall. I'm so proud of him, either way, he is coming along just fine. Now, for school, he got two really cute homemade books yesterday with everything he can do and little projects he has done. Well, she had a checklist of everything he can do and here is some: He can recognize his name and most of the letters. H, Y, E, N. When she says that, she is referring to his writing his name and he does write the A and D but they aren't clear enough for his teacher to say he can write his whole name. But to me, he can!...hehehe He can identify 10 colors, all shapes and can count to 12, although he counts higher for me. Who knows what mood he is in when she asks him to do it....hehehe.

He is one of those kids that can do things but when you ask him, if he doesn't feel like it, he won't do it and again, that is okay for now, he is only 4. I think he is doing amazing. He can cut beautifully with scissors and can follow lines and shapes or pictures when cutting really well. He also can draw very well but his most impressive artistic ability is he can paint like no other child I've seen. He is awesome and I'm so proud!! His teacher is also very impressed with how he can name any dinosaur, tell her what kind of food it eats and where it would live. That is incredible!

The other day, he impressed his father and I so much, he gets animal magazines and they are informative and fun. Well, he grabbed one and wanted his dad to read to him and when it came to a two page spread about penguins, Hayden started naming all the different kinds like "Macaroni Penguin". I never even heard of a Macaroni penguin!! The craziest thing is, he was correct! Brian said to him, "How did you know that was a Macaroni Penguin?" He just looked at us. Now, mind you, I had read to him this magazine a longggggggg time ago and he remembered the different names of the penguins. I didn't even remember.

I think it is exciting to see what his interests are now too. He LOVES bugs and I watched him pick up a catepillar off the sidewalk and put it in the grass and he said to it "There you go" like you are safe now little buddy. It was soooo cute! He loves fishing and digging for worms and likes camping in a tent and making smores from a campfire. He loves animals and again can name any and all. He has an encyclopedia of animals and can tell me what all of them are. His dad built a t-ball stand and he LOVES playing baseball now and runs to the bases as we try to catch him. He giggles and squeals in delight! He loves golf and soccer and sitting on his dad's lap and playing piano. He has a love for flowers and anything pretty. He will say "Mom, this is beautiful" as he walks up to a flower or scenic area.

So, my Hayden is my hero and I am so thankful for this amazing kid in my life. He gives me so much joy, not just in his talents or smarts but just his silly self. He is growing so fast and I just breathe in every second of time with him. I watch and learn from him and he is remarkable. I am truly in awe of this little beautiful being.

Sickness Arrives Again

Now, I am undoubtedly ready for summer...good ole' sicknesses have come again. I have a runny nose, sinus congestion, headache problem...Hayden has a cough and his pink eye is gone but he still has drops put in until Friday. Vanessa has pink eye and an ear infection along with a nasty cough. Brian is our only healthy nut around here....can you say uuugghh, pleaseeeeeeee come summer! What do you do?

I also have not been entirely thrilled with our weather, the sun is shining but it is cold still. We were out today for not even an hour and Hayden said he was cold, of course, he fell asleep on the couch so he could have just been tired too. I'm hanging in there though, I could use some more sleep but I'll catch up eventually.

On to peachier subjects...smiling...I made that word up...hehehe...Peachier...sounds good to me...The fundraiser for Andre Bosse went fantastic, we are donating $1600 to the center! WooHoo!!! I'm so proud and feel very honored to have been a part of this success. The article in the paper about me was nice and I have been getting comments everywhere I go, which is a little weird but fun! I guess there may be another article after this is said and done telling how much was given and that will be cool.

In the end, I made some wonderful new friends, the ladies I worked with are just gems and I will always count my blessings for meeting them and having them in my life now. Today, I am working on a meal for a friend who just had a baby, I'm making cupcakes, meatloaf, potatoes and salad. I just did a meal for another friend in April and I am doing one in June and one in July. I absolutely love doing this kind of thing. If I could, I would make a business out of it.

So, even though sickness has wormed it's way into our lives again, I'm still able to do my volunteer work, which makes me so incredibly happy. It made me feel so good to explain to Hayden what the meal was all about and he said to me "Mom, they need that food to help them." He got it and understood.

I'm going to be in the newspaper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, the Ludington Daily News called last night and they received a press release on me and thought I would be a good candidate for on their FRONT PAGE!! I was so nervous as the reporter interviewed me and later last night I jotted down all the key questions she asked me and wrote what I was trying to say (because I thought I did terrible...hehehe)

So, I had to go there this morning for my picture to be taken and I gave the reporter my written down thoughts, she said I did just fine but if anyone knows me, I was a ball of nerves so I had to make sure I said the right things...hehehe....I actually am triple excited about all of this and feel so honored!! Okay, breathe Kristen, breathe....ahhhhhhhhhh.

As far as other things going on, Vanessa was in yesterday's paper, a little blurry vision...hehhee...We went to a mother daughter banquet and there was a fashion show and a photographer snapped a photo of one of the gals in the show and Vanessa is in the background...hehehe. Too funny! I cut it out to put in her journal. I also have been working on taking photos of her to enter to a agency in Grand Rapids for modeling. I think I have the five pics needed, now we will see if she gets any calls.

Tomorrow, we go to see and pick out our baby bunny, he/she isn't ready to actually come home with us but we get to go and see the babies. I haven't told Hayden yet because he will flip out! He will ask me every minute when we are going so I thought I would just take him and surprise him. Not much else new, hubby has been busy busy with all his extra curricular activities and so have the kids and I.

Hayden is going to take a two week every day swimming course in June, this will really push him to the next level which I am excited about. Vanessa is starting a swim lesson in June as well. Hayden had lessons last night and he jumped off the diving board again, I was so proud and he is swimming underwater now and went under about 6 times.

My cooking class was awesome!! I am taking another on the 14th, this time it is brunch recipes. The cool thing about the pasta class is now I can make homemade pasta and give it as gifts! I already can see it, everyone is getting homemade pasta for Christmas!...hehehe

I found out the Sandcastles children's museum here in Ludington is opening from June-August and I can pay $50 and the kids can go everyday if they want, all summer, they have soooooo many activities, I am beyond excited about this. They do crafts and have guests come and puppet shows etc... The kids will absolutely go crazy there. Now, if the weather would stay like yesterday...sighs...today is dark, gloomy and rainy...Guess it's an indoor day but I have special things planned!

Life....

UGGHH! I'm so sick of the cold weather!!! I took the kids for a walk yesterday and we were only out for a half hour and they were freezing, mind you it was 39 degrees. I got spoiled with our week of summer and now these last two days it's freezing again. I actually had potato soup for lunch...The thermometer this morning is only at 39 again...sighs...I think I need to work on my patience...hehehe. Florida comes to my mind frequently....smiling.

Two good things happened though in the last couple days, Hayden went to his first dentist appointment and did AWESOME! I was so impressed!! Then last night at swimming, he jumped off the diving board a few times with no problem! Yea!!! I started video taping him at his lessons. I can't wait to show him when he's 18 how cute and goofy he is! I started thinking in all my craziness and fun with the kids, I had to get back into video taping them. There is just some cherished moments that our digital camera can't capture.

Tonight I am going to a cooking class with a local chef to learn 4 pasta recipes and to make pasta fom scratch, I cannot wait!!! We really have been eliminating meat in our meals and this will give me some more ideas! Even my husband lately, is not wanting meat...Could my plan be working to switch us all to little/or no meat?...smiling big!!! HAHAHAHA If only I didn't like a steak once in awhile...that is why I say just a little meat. But for me, I am going all raw and fresh, except for pasta and a very small amount of meat, maybe once a week for now. I had forgotten how much energy pasta gives me so it has been coming back in my life like an old friend. We also make our sauces very much like in Italy, light and refreshing.

In 3 weeks, we are getting a baby bunny!...AWWWW!! Our friend's rabbit had babies and asked if we wanted one and Hayden asked his dad and dad said yes. They stay outside all year she said in a cage with a shelter box. Hayden, of course, can't wait to feed it carrots but most of it's diet will be pellets. This will be a good thing to add into homeschooling. How to raise a baby bunny and care for it.

I am getting pampered coming up, first I get my hair highlighted tomorrow night, then next week I have a massage appointment and pedicure appointment. Then, Brian has something planned for our anniversary but I have no idea what it is. Lastly, at the end of May we go to Pennsylvania for some fun! We will be swimming and going to Hersheypark...I'm so excited and I have lunch dates with friends!! May is going to be a good month. I also have my HUGE fundraiser for Andre Bosse. I believe we will be in the local news or newspaper for it. Recognition is a good thing!

So, life is good...I am slacking in the energy department these last two days. I think it is my allergies again and my monthly "friend" coming. Yea for that!...hehehe Oh well, fill me with that wonderful pasta tonight and I will be flying again!

Helping Me From the Inside Out

It has been awhile since I have been on my blog and mostly it is because I have been very busy with the kids. I'm really enjoying the nice weather and riding bikes with Hayden. Now, of course, the weather has changed and it is freezing outside again so we have done some indoor activities these last few days. I've also been on a mission doing spring cleaning, my house is getting cleaned and organized room by room. I finally finished our bedroom last night and it looks fantastic!

We will have this house on the market by June. We are determined to have it ready. I'm so anxious to get my garden started and Hayden will have his own this year, he has made plans already for making salsa to give to the neighbors. I started some seeds but I really can't wait to get some plants. So, house stuff and kid stuff has kept me so busy sometimes my head is spinning and I decided I needed to work on some things with me. I am starting a book study called Scale Down and it comes with a workbook, this will be my summer project for myself.

I also am looking into starting a chapter in my area from a group called MothersandMore. I'm so anxious to get the info and see if it is something I can get off the ground. I also start singing at church on May 11th. We had some setbacks getting me started but now its a go. Lastly, I am looking for a bible study group, I know of a couple and I really want to join one. Church has really become a big focal point in our lives and we are starting to get very involved so I'm excited about that. My hubby joined one that started today. He's looking forward to going every Monday.

I also will be starting my volunteer work very soon, I sent my application into the art league and after volunteering 8 times, I will become a member. I also talked and met the owners of Red Door Gallery here in our hometown and they take any artwork and display it for sale...I am SOOO EXCITED!!!!!!! I have some pieces I would love to sell and have on display. They will be also contacting me when they have a ceramics class, which I have always wanted to learn.

I'm also anxious to get Hayden doing his summer reading program, I have already started homeschooling him and will do so all summer. He's enjoying it and I have made it very classroom-like so we get a lot done. I only spend an hour with him because it is a full hour of school work and it isn't play time. I am going to incorporate a second language while I'm at it and he will hopefully learn some French and I will too....hehehe.

So, in closing, I am having a ton of fun with the kids, I am so busy that I stopped thinking about my weight. I don't have time to exercise but I am getting lots of exercise if that makes sense. Our friend is opening her inground pool this year and I can go at anytime so that should be an added benefit all summer....smiling. With all the fun and getting the house ready for selling, I'm focusing on me on the inside, my spirituality, my talents and my mind and it is reshaping my life and my attitude. It's going to be a great summer...but if you can't get a hold of me, you know what all I am doing.

Escaping exercise and other juicy stories...

HAHAHAHA!!! Not really, I just LOVE that title!! Well, I have escaped exercise because I'm having so much fun and getting plenty with my kids! I bought Hayden a bike and Vanessa can't get enough of being outside so we have been outside ALOT...Which makes for me getting exercise without trying...smiling.

The weather has been perfect and besides being outside, we are quite busy with other things as well. I am getting super busy with Tastefully Simple, I just had a party and I have 5 more within the next 4 weeks...It's crazy! (All this money rolling in is great for saving for my camera )Along with that, MOPS and church have me busy.

We attended a new church today and at first I wasn't sure about it but I am feeling the calling to be there. Brian ran into a bunch of clients, Hayden's best friends go there and they have Sunday school, which is important to me. Along with that, Brian got offered to play in a christian rock band there and he would perform almost every sunday. The pastors were unbelievably nice and today was communion. I have been praying and asking God to send me an answer and today I felt it. I was torn between two churches. I think this church has more for the kids and the music just got switched over so Brian would be starting with a brand new band not actually jumping into one already formed and that would be great.

So, why am I typing in the middle of the day? I am cleaning my house because of all my busy busy days and I let it go far too long. There was an inch of dust and it looked like we had mice running through the house with all the crumbs on the kitchen floor...yuk!!! I just mopped the floors and they are drying so I got on to my blog. I went and cleaned my van also, vacuumed and washed it, it looks ten times better also. I keep cleaning and coming back and writing more.

Okay, it's going on 4:30 now, it is time to get ready for dinner and guess what? I am ordering in Chinese!! hehehe There goes any exercise I have gotten!

AHHHH!!

I'm fine now...I'm not sure what was wrong with me, but I had my monthly friend and was PMSing more than usual.

Feeling stressed

I don't know why but I'm feeling stressed and extremely crabby lately. I feel down and depressed and again I'm not sure why. I have these feelings to get away and I was just away in Italy...I want to be outside more but weather is always iffy...I'm tired of snow and I never get tired of snow. Our yard is a mess and I want to clean it but can't due to ice and snow still there...There is all these small things bothering me and they are building and building...This happens to me once in awhile and I have to pick myself back up but my moods lately are just miserable and I get angry very easily. Just had to vent.....

My son

Today I'm talking about my son, it's a special day, he turned 4 today. He is so excited about that and has been running around the house saying "I'm 4!!". It is so darn funny. He sat down next to me and said "Mom, am I 4 today?" I said "Yes" and he said "I'm not 3 anymore?" I said "No"...He took off running to his sister and said "I'm 4 Nessa!!!"

He asked if we could go to dinner for his birthday so we are doing that and then we have to go to preschool roundup and sign him up for 4 year preschool. He is getting so big and still amazes me everyday. Just two days ago, he did about 7 math problems with his dad and it floored me. All addition but still, he is an amazing kid.

He just entered a contest at the library where he had to color a bookmark and even if he doesn't win, I will tell you, it was an awesome bookmark! He colored it all different colors like a rainbow. I was so proud of him.

So, cheers to Hayden and Happy Birthday to my beautiful son!

YIPPEE!!

More excitement, I keep losing a pound a day! I'm now down a total of 8 pounds since January. Only 3000 more to go...hehehehe!

Excitement is in the air today!!

Okay, not only are we getting this building-a-new-home process going but we started boxing things up today and inside I want to SCREAM because I'm so giddy with anticipation!! I was feeling sad and scared about leaving the house we are in but it's because we have gotten used to it and there are little things I will miss but I think what I will miss most is our elderly neighbors that we have grown so fond of.

I have been in a down for awhile and just really needed to pull myself up and out of it and I don't know if it was just my bad self-esteem and weight that took me there but I'm pulling myself out...I now have many other things to do and already have lost 2 pounds in 2 days. WOOHOO!
I'm eating differently, taking my vitamins, drinking more water and not thinking about anything to do with me at all, if that makes sense. I don't care anymore about my body but not in a bad way, I watched Oprah the other day and had a revelation I swear.

I'm just changing the way I look at myself, trying to not concentrate on the bad but the good and it's working.

I'm triple excited about our trip coming up to Italy!!!!! I am so excited I can hardly keep from smiling all the time...I'll write again when we come back, I'll be busy for awhile after too. I just had to come on today and spill my excitement!!...AHHHH!!! It feels sooooo good!!!

Getting sidetracked can be GREAT!

Well, I haven't accomplished anything for myself yet due to trying a fasting that didn't work and not having energy for working out....BUT...the good news is I have been putting so much energy into my children and it is paying off big time!

My son, who will be 4 in March, absolutely amazed me today. We made homemade Valentine's cards for family and I had him write all the writing on the inside...to my amazement, he was writing all the letters, not perfect but for an almost 4 year old, I was blown away! I had him write Happy Valentine's Day and his name and he did it!!!

I am just so super proud of him! I knew he could write some letters but I had no idea that he could write ALL letters and he holds a pen beautifully. Lately, he has been bringing home finger paintings from school and my son is definately showing the artistic side and very much into painting of all types like myself. We have a portfolio of his best work and in there are some pieces that I'm seriously thinking about framing. He is so beyond creative when he picks his colors and very unique.

My daughter is not into being out in the snow, partly because she can't move in her snowsuit and I think she just gets cold. She can only handle a short time and she is done so that makes it that we have to spend a good deal of time indoors, which as I am saying has been so rewarding. We do all kinds of crafts, puzzles and games. My son was the same way when he was her age, he didn't want to be in the snow...Now he loves it! But by Spring, she will have her walking down better and probably love to be outside. She does like to ride around in her sled but as soon as you stop she fusses. She loved it last summer because we hung out in the yard everyday in their pools. Now that is another story, she is a FISH and would be in the tub 24/7 if I let her.

It's funny because I keep trying here and there to do for me and for some reason, timing is all wrong or it just doesn't work out. What is working out is all my time with my kids. So, God must have a plan for me, I guess I'm supposed to concentrate on them right now and not me and actually, I'm okay with it. I have been having conversations with God about my feelings of regret not having more children and I think He is giving me signs to concentrate on them because they are all I have and are only small for such a short time.

There are a couple of things I have been doing for myself that are not exactly for me and that is helping in the community more and I am very proud of that. There is a big church in town that is moving and the building is going to become an Arts building with performances and art shows etc... Well, Brian wants to become a member of the Arts Council and so do I. I want to be a big part of that and there is a dinner coming up that we can go to and donate money and buy a music note and that will be displayed as a contribution to getting the funding for this. I'm so excited because they have all kinds of future plans like bringing concerts there and kids programs.

We have been doing more with our church also and that is where some community things have happened also. I just got a gift for a family that had a baby and I'm making them a meal. I'm also getting more involved with MOPS, I am donating time to a soup kitchen to help feed people who are in need. So, I may not be on track for my weight loss but in some sense, I'm supposed to be not selfish right now. I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm supposed to be making a difference in my community, focusing on my children and getting as many date nights as I can with my husband...hehehe...We keep doing all these functions and it gets us date nights, it's been wonderful!

Getting sidetracked absolutely can be GREAT!

Changes for 2008

Okay, now that my rough start in the New Year has settled, it's time for some changes.
Here are my goals:

- 3 Hour workouts daily
- Vegetarian diet, working my way into, I'm about halfway there.
- Having fun with kids - water park, camping, hiking etc...(we will be doing so many things I can't possibly name them)
- Volunteering MORE in the community and school
- Saving for my dream camera after Italy
- After getting camera, starting a new portfolio for galleries- I want to have a show of my own by 2010
- Scrapbook parent's photo books- this is a BIG project
- Practicing our songs for our CD
- Enjoy all of our travels

These are all the goals I want to be doing and have finished by December 2008..some of which will continue after.
The scrapbook photo books are going to be an all year project for the grandparents, along with the CD.
To a Happy 2008! (and busy one)

Off to a Rocky Start

It's 2008, yea!! Happy New Year! Unfortunately, we are off to a rocky start though, it just seems like everything is going wrong lately. My mom was supposed to come out and visit and she is having car trouble. Vanessa is sick and not doing good. Hayden has some kind of weird rash and I'm worried sick about EVERYTHING!

My husband and I did get a ton accomplished today, we moved furniture in every single room in the house, organized and made the house much less cluttered. We took everything Christmas down and stored away and cleaned the whole house too. He helped with all of it, which was so awesome.

My daughter and I went shopping Saturday and Brian and Hayden built an igloo while we were gone and it is incredible!! Brian said he must have made 100 blocks to form it and he was exhausted but how cool is it to be the only kid on our block that has an igloo! Hayden LOVES it and tells and shows everyone that he can. Vanessa and I got all kinds of new things, we were just the shopping queens that day. It felt so good to get away with just her...sometimes I need those one on one days with either child. It just makes the day so extra special. Hayden and I have a movie date coming up!

We went to church on Sunday and I think we found the church we want to join...I really like the pastors and while we were there, the pastor said to ask God for what you want for the year 2008 and I bowed my head and asked for the things I want and ever since going, all of these little things have been happening that relate to my requests and it is FANTASTIC! I'm so excited about it!

I finished my book club read and it was a good book, had a great twist at the end. It was definitely one of those books I couldn't put down and I cried in parts...Really a sad book, it's called "Me and Emma." I recommend it.

Well, although we have some issues going on, I'm looking forward to this year, we go to Hayden's first concert at the end of the month, we go to Italy in February, Pennsylvania in May, the kids go away for two weeks in July, we may go on a trip while they are gone, if Brian gets it and that will be a Mediterranean Cruise, we are able to start officially planning to sell the house and build, we are going to Chicago on a long weekend...I have sooooo many blessings ahead and I couldn't be more excited so hopefully the rocky start will soon pass and this year will be a prosperous one. Cheers to a great 2008!