"Today is hump day", is what my husband said to me this morning...hehehe..I never heard of it until I came to Michigan I think it is the funniest thing calling Wednesday hump day because, your halfway through the week and on your way to the weekend. Of course, in his mind, he was thinking other thoughts as he said it with a devilish smile. Gotta love him!
We have been practicing singing for a competition we have coming up in about two weeks and I have been trying to build my confidence more. I think I sing pretty good, it's just I have terrible stage fright so then I mess up or shake and it sounds bad. I keep visualizing a huge crowd in front of me because, to be honest it will be a huge crowd...Makes me slightly sick to my stomach. So, I'm trying to really be positive and hold my head high and act like I am this great thing and I sit at the end of practicing thinking the very opposite...I have two weeks to really perfect this and not take it so seriously. I mean this will be in front of brokers and their wives, half of which probably have no musical talent so we will sound like Gods to them...laughing!
I also pray everyday to make this fear go away. The fear I suddenly got after being raped my senior year. I was always so fearless, I would do anything...I would sing in front of thousands if someone let me, I was moving to New York to pursue my dreams of singing and acting...It all slipped away after a date rape. I lost the one thing that was so important to my being...my fearlessness. So now at 36 years old, I still fear the stage trying desperately to get over it. My own personal battle, my own bad self-esteem...
The one thing I have gained through the years though is being able to be strong and speak my mind. I used to hide my feelings and just try to please everyone but somewhere along the way, I believe motherhood and womanhood came and I changed. So Wednesday is hump day and I'm actually looking forward to the weekend and being outside all day everyday. The weather should be letting up by then. Maybe the clouds will lift from my being also and I can sing my songs with no stage fright...smiling.
3 comments:
You should hold your head up high for you are a great person! DOn't forget that! And you sing wonderfully too so no need to have stage fright. You are going to show them all up. Just picture everyone in the audience naked. Maybe that will help! You're awesome!
You GO GIRL! You will be great and I just know it! You are such a joy to know and I am so happy that we met and became friends last year. I wish we could hang out more. I miss our lunches and talks!
Keep up the blog, I need to keep up mine too, I haven't updated it in a few weeks. I do think writing is theraputic! Love ya girl, Renee
oh honey...
you have a beautiful voice..
remember Joe's 40th birthday party and you sang "The Rose"... I will never forget it!!! People thought you were awesome..
When I was in college taking a speech class, our professor said that picking something to stare at helps..
like something on the opposite wall of where you will be...
I know you will be great!! JJ
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